Please, Santa. I've been on average, sort of good this year. Just click "Add to Shopping Cart". Cheers.

[ooc: Mun also apologises for Lachlan and fellow pups' disappearance for two days. He's got me in the the bad books for writing myself off at the work Christmas party and being hungover for almost 48 hours.]

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE! (None of that Sissy Crap)Are you tired of those weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of a great ( Read more... )

Blow job on a massage chair. Priceless.

This: "News"

Three words.

BULL-FECKING-SHIT

Dinnae even get me started.

My son tried to eat a CONDOM. Did you all hear that? CONDOM. Whoever of you all were leaving condoms (thank fuck it was still wrapped) lying around the back room, I'm going to HURT YOU. I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again because clearly you're all deaf...

HURT YOU.

EXTENSIVELY.

WITH SHARP POINTY THINGS.

That is all.

You know the drink we took your husband out for to celebrate his return to work?

Aye, well, he might have maybe ended the night half naked and dancing on the bar to 'I Will Survive'. It's okay, though. He was still breathing during Riley's 2am nappy change.

And I dinne know what he did with his boxers, so dinnae ask.

To the bunchDinnae book anything for Saturday 13th June. We're throwing Pat and Aiden a wedding reception. They dinnae know about it, so dinnae let on. And you all know what's coming: It's a Seventies theme, dress up is compulsory. I dinnae want to hear any ABBA moaning. You'll love it. We all have a little piece of John Travolta in us ( Read more... )

See! See!

Click to view

I cannae believe it's nearly time to go back to Princeton already.

Dinnae want to go back...

1. What was your first word as a child?
Foot. Aye, I've nay ever been conventional.

2. What's the weirdest dare you've ever taken?
I wouldnae even know where to start. I've been dared a lot in my time. Let's go with snogging the Greyfriar's Bobby statue in Edinburgh at Hogmanay.

3. What are you allergic to?Anaesthetic, a few other meds, and ( Read more... )